The Meaning Behind My Tattoo

"If you like it so much, write it down and keep it in your purse!" - my grandma

That's what my grandma told me when I showed her my tattoo! *insert eye rolls and roaring laughter here* I get asked all the time what my tattoo means and how I chose the placing. My tattoo is my last name, Makhlouf, written in Arabic. 

As i've mentioned before, I am half Black and half Palestinian. Legally, my last name is Young, but I honestly go by either last name and I typically will hyphenate the two. I've talked heavily in my I'M JUST PRETTY (can be found in the Self(ie) section) post about my struggles with my identity. I was never Black enough for my black side and, because my last name was American, I was told I wasn't really Arab or wasn't really a Makhlouf by my Arab side and friends. That really hurts because I identify equally with both and I actually grew up predominately with my Arab family. 

I was raised on pita bread, lebneh, hummus and Al Jazeera. It doesn't get much more Arab that that! lol. I was so desperate to fit in and be taken seriously by the Arab community. So, there are many reasons why I chose to get this tattoo in particular. Growing up, my life centered around my family and was/is a major influence in the person I am today. I say this all the time -- being Arab (especially in today's America) is a lifestyle and plays a role in my every day. I have always loved the Arabic language -- it's sound, its poetic nature and it's beautiful curvy script. I am just flat out in love with being Palestinian. So, perhaps part of me chose to get it to prove a point (I showed them, huh?), but as I get older, it is so much deeper than that. I am proud of my people, I am proud of their strength and I am proud of my culture. It's that simple. 

I got my tattoo when I was about twenty-two and I spent a couple of years debating it -- it wasn't a spur of the moment thing (I think about things for years before I actually do it because, well, it's permanent!) To this day, I do not regret it one bit and I love showing it off in my flirty, open back tops. 

I chose to get it on my side because as much as I think tattoos are cool and edgy, I also love the purity of a woman and think there's something really beautiful about a woman's body and skin just the way God made it. I knew at the point I got married that I didn't want tattoos to be an accessory to my wedding dress (or really any elegant dress or look). I love the placement of my tattoo because I can flaunt it easily when I want and I can cover it when I choose. It's versatile in that sense. Some people don't even realize I have it. 

It's special, it's meaningful and it's part of me ... literally.